emerging from the fog.

Life is a flame that is always burning itself out, but it catches fire again every time a child is born. ~George Bernard Shaw

Hello, again.

Well, my theory about our girl’s birth date was wrong. She didn’t join us on the 21st after all. She joined us on April 25th. All 10 pounds, 6 ounces of her…and hearing her first cry of life bonded her daddy and me deeper than anything we’ve experienced together in these past 16 years of a shared life.

I won’t go into detail about her birth today, but I will say- it didn’t exactly go as planned. But, she emerged healthy and into safe hands and that’s all that really matters.

As far as this 4th trimester of postpartum recovery goes…wow. You can hear it described by a hundred different mamas, in a hundred different ways, but until you experience it for yourself, you’ll never fully understand. It’s not the slightest bit easy, in fact, parts of it completely suck. But my goodness, those parts in between the suck… the parts where you’re feeding the tiny life that you created, nursing from breast or bottle, instinctively responding to those cries that pierce thru whatever minute of sleep you may finally be getting…watching your once familiar body morph yet again into something you aren’t quite sure about, but most definitely something gloriously earned…catching a glimpse of daddy as he swaddles your daughter while speaking that soothing nonsense of words that she doesn’t know yet, but is learning to trust anyway…seeing the faces of loved ones light up at their first glimpse or cuddle…feeling your child sigh and relax when she’s finally back in your most familiar arms. Those parts are the ones that I search for each and every day as I crawl my own way thru this brand new world. Because birthing a child, becoming a parent, is it’s very own newborn journey. I am learning from each and every cry, each and every bottle given, be it my own sweet but limited breast milk or the formula that we happily supplement to ensure our child is well and truly fed. Of course, I might miss those days of free sleep and idle time…but knowing that I am finally living my life’s purpose as this little girl’s mama, watching her grow and change so much in just four weeks…those before days are nothing compared to these after days. DSC_0169received_66147453441825520200525_145417DSC_030020200525_151121

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