Yesterday was hard.
I haven’t really been cleaning the last couple days. I’m trying to get back into the groove of studying for my real estate license. Ya know, just ANOTHER thing to find time for. So, my sister called. She needed me to notarize a piece of her divorce paperwork and was gonna stop by on her way home from work. I then began to search for my stamp and log…and of course, couldn’t find them. So, I got overly frustrated. David helped me look but we still haven’t come across them. That was meltdown #1.
Meltdown #2 stemmed from that. David continued to clean things up, choosing to sort the piles of laundry and chaos in our bedroom. He was trying to be helpful, and I knew it. But the guilt…dammit the guilt.
So, here I am today. Lila is in her crib, fighting naptime and I’m in my recliner, writing this before tackling today’s course work…while waiting to hear back about 2 possible jobs, because I haven’t earned a paycheck in almost a year and that’s definitely adding to the shitshow in my thoughts.
I want so much better for her. For all of us.
Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again.